Pandora box

U keep so much to yourself so that u can cry later,
U keep so much to yourself so that u can regret alone in the corner on your bed on your own,
U keep so much to yourself so that every night u will feel everything u felt is too overwhelming and u want it to stop,
U keep so much to yourself so that every night u will feel to end your life in your own hands,
U keep so much to yourself so that life will be easy as you imagine how it should be everyday,
U keep so much to yourself so that you have a reason to hate a person later on,
U keep so much to yourself so that u have a reason to get high later,
U keep so much to yourself so that u feel numb inside and don't care as much,
U keep so much to yourself because non of the people u met actually matters,
U keep so much to yourself because you doubt every single thing you do,
U keep so much to yourself because u know your feelings is just a waste of time,
U keep so much yourself because u know people they come and go,
U keep so much to yourself because u know u don't matter.

My heart

When my mouth smiles,my heart cries,
When I'm being optimistic, my heart doubts it,
When I say "there is going to be a way", my heart already lose its hope,
When I say " there will be another day", my heart doesn't want to live a day longer.

And here I am, living my life, struggling like everyone would, as though I was born today and will die tomorrow.

Scar

The surface of scar is tender,

It does last forever, 

Keep me reminded as I always was.

A scar I take to heart is so much deeper,

Keep me reminded of you as I walk the path.

Yearning

There are things that we yearn,
that we shouldn't,
And those deserve it,
We dont.

Sometimes we want,
what is not meant to be ours, what we couldn't,
So we love whoever left.

I thought engagement would be easy

Engagement.

Engagement is the moment when u put your love to a preparation into a position that many, many and many human kind afraid of...

It is call commitment.

It is not about being mature or not.
It is not about you being too young.
It is not about enjoying life less.

It is not about that.

It is about realisation, and put someone else happiness before yours.

And have the sense of struggle and desperation on making that person to feel your love, your existence. Struggling to be the best of your version just for the sake of that one person.

It is call priorities.

When u set your priorities straight, u will realise to keep the ones that matters to u close at heart. Let them feel the warmth of your love.

More or less 30 days to be a wife.

Marriage.

What is marriage?
Marriage is a unity of two hearts and people that has different opinion on certain stuffs or most of the stuffs.

A unity of two different universe ( I always think a person represent a universe as he/ she contain mysteries and secrets of their own and only he/ she can understand). A collusion of two universe that possibly can destroy each other's existence and dissapear into the galaxy. Taking away the purpose of life and burn the trust that was once given.

Or

Collide and born with beautiful, rare and new founded universe that contains new mysteries and secrets that only they know about.

Marriage is indeed a gamble.